I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
