Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
