I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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