FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
