question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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