I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
