Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
