I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
