No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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