Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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