How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
