So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She bit a glass in half.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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