my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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