I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
