my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize