Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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