The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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