If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
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