U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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