i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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