I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
