all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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