His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
