We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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