Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
