Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
