how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
