Will you blow on my dice?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
