So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
