how can u be prego again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
