How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
