i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
