I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize