Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
