ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
