I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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