My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
