I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
