Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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