Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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