I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
