i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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