Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
