haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
