talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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