He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
