cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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