I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
