there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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