wat bout pragnant strippers??
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize