I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
