My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
