I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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