i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
