Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
