seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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