You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize