ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
