she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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