if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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