Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
