i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
