She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
