i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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