You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
