Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
