she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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