I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
