So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
