Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
