Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
