Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize