ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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