There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
