dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
