Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
